Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Where's the line?

So, I'm sitting there watching the team play, and it ends up being our second 8-1 loss of the season. I'm frustrated as all get out. I can't believe some of the things I watch them do. It's mind-boggling to me how you can watch as the other team takes the ball and just goes by you and you just watch them go, not even attempting to help in any way. Or watch as the other team takes your ball because you didn't move to it. Or you watch as the ball goes over your head and the other team runs in to score. I hope they got their money's worth.
My question is: Where do you draw the line? When does it frustrate you so much that you actually make a change? When does the pit of stomach start nagging at you to do something different? When does the righteous indignation overtake the lazy habits, or the indifference?Where do you emotionally draw that line in the sand? How do you push somebody past that line? Is it OK to get into someone's head so much that they push past the line? Is that manipulation? When does motivation become manipulation? I want to be a good coach, and I don't want to be a jerk, but these boys need a hot brand to the bajooki. Any and all advice is welcome. Thanks for listening.


GrowingRopers said...

i'm the LAST person to give coaching advise...or ANY sports advise for that matter. so all i have to go by is Jillian from the biggest looser, who i love. she gets into their head. i guess its different though. but dont all coaches "get inot your head"? isnt that their job? i say push them. push them. dont be MEAN. or HEARTLESS. but you have to push. your job is to make these boys better, right? push :)

Cacooning said...

That really stinks. I'm sorry. If anyone ever figured out how to make someone want to do something enough to overcome inertia, then we'd have a lot more skinny righteous people running around the world.

Motivation is one of those topics that I look for when I'm studying the scriptures. I think it normally comes down to us having the desire to make a change and then it snowballs from there. And, if we don't have the desire, we can pray for the desire. That probably doesn't help any with coaching, though.

Another one of my scripture study topics is "consequences" or "choice and accountability" and if I colored a verse every time the scriptures talked about consequences, I think my whole Book of Mormon would be orange. So, can you give consequences for good and poor choices without getting mental about it? I think so. The Love and Logic parenting books that I'm reading give lots of ideas on how to do that. (I loved the one about birth to 6 years and I'm working on the one about teenagers right now. I'd recommend it.)

Maybe I should have prefaced my remarks with this: if I were on "The Biggest Loser," I'd much rather have Bob be my trainer.

SumGreater said...

You must be feeling pretty desperate...I'm sorry. You maybe meant you'd take suggestions from anyone but me since I already give you more than you want...but here goes.

I think consequences are good-like with our kids. You can tell your boys--hey, if I see you not follow the ball to the goal or not move for the pass or standing still or go wildly out of position--I will take you out and you will do x number laps and crunches. (You can have someone keep a tally sheet and just mark it for the next day's practice. That way the kid who's doing it wrong most is getting the most reminder.) Maybe they'll just want to play for 3 minutes straight and start doing the right stuff. (In the booth, we were fans of taking some kids off and sending them on laps right in the middle of the game. I don't know if you want that kind of humiliation.)

I had a terrible habit in high school of trapping the ball with the outside of my foot. My coach sent me on 2 laps every time he saw me do it. He wasn't mean. He just sent me.

You're a calm guy. You don't have to pull a Bobby Knight, but making them run till it hurts or do drills until they can't do them wrong anymore is your prerogative as coach. (Enter tune: It's MY prerogative!) It's like how you make them do push-ups if they swear. You're not mad, you just find it unacceptable and expect them to face a particular consequence. They might as well get physically stronger while they're learning their lesson. Kids respect their own hard work, (physical pain) and discipline. They'll complain, but they'll get better. You can add a lap for complaining and maybe they won't even do that. =)

I know you hate to force people to do things because you hate being forced...but maybe the reason there's such a thing as 'unrighteous dominion' is because 'righteous dominion' exists. You're in charge of the team. They're your stewardship even if nobody else thinks of it spiritually. Be their Helaman. Teach them to obey and perform with exactness. They're strong enough to follow hard rules and you're strong enough to create and enforce them.
I love you. I know you can do it.