Where's the line?

So, I'm sitting there watching the team play, and it ends up being our second 8-1 loss of the season. I'm frustrated as all get out. I can't believe some of the things I watch them do. It's mind-boggling to me how you can watch as the other team takes the ball and just goes by you and you just watch them go, not even attempting to help in any way. Or watch as the other team takes your ball because you didn't move to it. Or you watch as the ball goes over your head and the other team runs in to score. I hope they got their money's worth.
My question is: Where do you draw the line? When does it frustrate you so much that you actually make a change? When does the pit of stomach start nagging at you to do something different? When does the righteous indignation overtake the lazy habits, or the indifference?Where do you emotionally draw that line in the sand? How do you push somebody past that line? Is it OK to get into someone's head so much that they push past the line? Is that manipulation? When does motivation become manipulation? I want to be a good coach, and I don't want to be a jerk, but these boys need a hot brand to the bajooki. Any and all advice is welcome. Thanks for listening.